Welcome to the Chaos: A Real-Life Single Mom Blog

Annnd, we’re off!

Welcome to my circus – I’m a single mom blogging my way through the chaos. I didn’t ask to be the ringmaster, but life doesn’t hand out job applications. Instead, it throws you two wildly different kids — now old enough to debate every rule, young enough to lose their shoes daily — and expects you to keep the show running with caffeine, sarcasm, and the occasional bathroom cry session.

If you came looking for picture-perfect parenting advice, bento-box lunch inspo, or a color-coordinated routine, you’re in the wrong damn place. This space is for real people in the real world—the one where kids ask philosophical questions at 10 p.m., forget homework with confidence, and make you wonder if you’re losing your mind or just misplacing it. Or, for a single mom in a new country trying to figure out if I just told someone “I like Pecorino cheese” (Mi piace il pecorino) or “I like doggy-style” (Mi piace la pecorina), or if I just asked to borrow some pens (penne) or to borrow someone’s penis (pene)…the struggle is real out here, but, who am I kidding, I might be the only one crazy enough to embark on this adventure 🤷🏼‍♀️

Why start a blog? Honestly, because life keeps handing me content. My kids provide the comedy. The universe supplies the chaos. And I’m just here documenting the madness so I don’t scream into a pillow every night. Some days I’ll write it out. Other days I’ll film it because the facial expressions alone deserve documentation.

Case in point: last week, my almost-8-year-old (daughter!) yelled “you just hit me in my balls!” very loudly on a very full train. The fella next to us must have understood enough English to look at me with the most confused and concerned facial expression. I laughed. My soul left my body. My 11-year-old decides to respond with “Marlena! you don’t have balls, yours are called ‘mangos’,” and I swear the universe whispered, “document this shit”.

So if you stick around, here’s what you’ll find:

• Parenting WTF moments from the trenches
• Real-life updates about our move abroad
• School chaos, sibling drama, and kid commentary no one asked for
• Random everyday disasters too ridiculous not to share
• The Shit Marlena Says
• Vlogs and voice clips when typing won’t cut it

This isn’t a how-to-be-a-perfect-parent blog, but it is a front row seat to my survival (or, demise) parenting as a single mom. I’m not here to pretend everything is flawless or filtered. I’m here to be honest: single motherhood, loud, messy, hilarious, exhausting, and weirdly wonderful.

This is What in the Actual…Life.

Welcome to the shitshow—live and unedited. Grab a snack (or, probably a strong drink), buckle up, and enjoy the ride. 🎪